Mood: Frustrated
There is a challenge in life for sure!
It´s called being ME!
I am so deadly tired of the fact that being me always seem to put me into unfortunate or disappointing situations.
There are so many unspoken rules of life and apparently I screw them all up royally!
So I am too independent apparently!
Yeah, that might be the case but still it does not give people the right to disregard the pleading for assistance or just a shoulder to cry on at times.
That is exactly what happens more or less everyday these days.
I try to be as helpless as I am “supposed” to be.
Does it work?
HELL NO!
If I reach out I get the cold shoulder due to the fact that I am normally strong and independent.
But sometimes one needs to be sad, small, scared and just in need of comfort.
Why is this so darn hard to understand or see.
Am I not clear about what vibes I send out?
Yesterday a SMS was sent out expressing the sad and lonely feeling that I felt. Reaching for comfort and support as I so rarely do.
What was the response that I was to receive!
NADA! NOTHING! Not a freaking word!
So OK it was in the evening and I went to bed rather sad about this lack of regard for me thinking that surely the person that received my text message would give me a response in the morning even though I would have needed that response last night.
So what happened then?
Well, let me put it this way.
Apparently I am to stay the independent ice queen for all eternity and never ever again reach out and express the emotions or needs that are a part of my person.
I know that the prospect of this will for sure give me the most sad little lonely existence ever but the alternative is horrid too.
Being disappointed when the hand is reached out hurts to much.
I try my hardest to be a good person and to be there for my friends and family but still I manage to just get the harshest reality check when reaching out.
I shall try my hardest to stop this nonsense and become even more distant and independent and most important COLD!
Lesson learnt and message received and understood!
Thank you for making it quite clear that human emotion is not anything to be connected to my person.
Wishing all the best of days.
Xoxo
